


Calling Dr. Love

by la_muerta



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Background Relationships, Christmas Fluff, F/F, Hitch AU, M/M, Malec Secret Santa 2019, Matchmaker Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 09:15:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21847291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/la_muerta/pseuds/la_muerta
Summary: Magnus Bane is a "dating guru" with a magic touch and a 100% success rate. Isabelle and Jace hire him to help their brother, claiming that Alec needs help to get a date for the office Christmas party. Honestly, Magnus is surprised that Alec needs any help at all, since Alec is handsome, considerate, funny, sweet, and-Magnus is so fucking screwed.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 85
Kudos: 655
Collections: Favorite Malec Stories, The Malec Secret Santa - Edition 2019





	Calling Dr. Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [memoriesofrain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/memoriesofrain/gifts).



Magnus heard the Lightwoods before he saw them. Of the three siblings, he only knew Isabelle, and even then he'd only spoken to her over the phone once, but the coffee shop where they'd arranged to meet was quiet and the Lightwoods were making quite a ruckus as they walked in. Magnus stood up and turned around, a polite smile already prepared and ready to start evaluating his newest client - and his mind promptly went blank when he finally saw them. 

Magnus was a dating consultant, one of the best in the business. People came to him when they needed help navigating the confusing world of relationships and dating, especially with the things like dating apps and speed dating sites muddying the waters, and Magnus was known for having a magic touch - teaching his clients tips and tricks on how to not just snag that first date with their dream person, but form a steady, long-term relationship with them. Magnus usually preferred to know as little about his client as possible before the first face-to-face meeting, so that he could get a more accurate first impression and know what he was working with, so he didn't know which of the two men with Isabelle was the brother he was supposed to help. But he had never hoped so badly that it was the shorter blond one instead of the tall, dark-haired man with the striking hazel eyes who was having a whispered argument with his siblings. 

"Um, hi," tall, dark, and handsome said when he noticed Magnus, his eyes widening slightly.

"Hi, you must be Magnus!" Isabelle beamed and nudged her dark-haired brother forward. "This is Alec."

"It's very nice to meet you, Alec," Magnus said, swallowing his disappointment. It was fine - he was a professional, and there was a reason why he'd sworn off dating, ironic as it was. 

They all took a seat and Magnus let them talk - or rather, Isabelle talked, with the occasional jibe from Jace. Alec just crossed his arms and scowled. He learnt that Alec was the eldest of four siblings, hadn't been in a steady relationship since college, and he worked as an accountant. He supposedly had been nursing a crush on a co-worker named Andrew, and Isabelle thought the office Christmas party that was happening in two weeks was the best opportunity for Alec to finally ask him out. 

"Who's Andrew?" Alec asked with a frown, the first time he'd spoken since he'd said 'hi'. 

"The guy from IT? The one you went to say 'hi' to that day when we went out to dinner with Mom?" Isabelle supplied helpfully.

"Oh, Underhill. I didn't know his name was Andrew," Alec said, and Magnus started to wonder if Alec's siblings had the right information. Why would Alec not know the name of the guy he was supposedly interested in?

"I'm glad that both of you are so supportive of your brother, but do you think I could have a chance to conduct the rest of this session just with Alec?" Magnus asked. 

"Sure. Have fun!" Isabelle said immediately, and she and Jace both made themselves scarce. 

Alec watched them wave at him from across the street, waiting until they were out of sight, then turned back to Magnus and said, "Look, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm not interested in Underhill, and I have no idea why my siblings think that I am."

"So are you saying that you're not actually in need of my services? Not that someone with a face like yours needs my help," Magnus said, and couldn't resist dropping a flirty wink. It would be kind of a relief, but also kind of a terrible tragedy if he didn't have an excuse to meet Alec again, but he had made a promise to himself years ago.

Alec licked his lips nervously. "Wait. I mean, I could probably use some general tips," he said hurriedly. "Besides, I know Izzy means well, and she went to all this trouble of hiring you."

"I tend to work better if you have a specific person in mind. My forte is in helping you present yourself in a way that will fit what your dream date is looking for, and everyone is looking for something different," Magnus explained.

"Oh. Isn't that cheating? I wouldn't want to get into a relationship with someone, then realise that they weren't really the person I thought they were," Alec pointed out.

"I don't mean that you should _lie_ about who you are, just that you should show the facet of your personality that is the most appealing to them. It's really no different from putting in a bit more effort to dress up for a first date," Magnus said with a laugh. "The goal is to get your foot in the door, let them give you a chance. The rest is up to the both of you to figure out together."

"Ok. I may have someone in mind. But what if I don't know anything about him?" Alec asked.

Magnus plastered on a smile. He should have known that Alec was already interested in someone else. "Then Google is your friend. You'll be surprised at the digital trail people leave behind."

Alec wrinkled his nose. "That seems kind of invasive. No offence."

Magnus smiled and shook his head, waving off his apology. "Then try the old-school method. Do you have any mutual friends or acquaintances?" 

"Yes, maybe. Or I could just go up and ask him," Alec said. 

"Oh no. No, no, no. That'd be tipping your hand, and you'll have already made a first impression without the help of my expert advice," Magnus said, winking. "So why don't you find out more about this guy you like, and we'll meet in a few days, say..." Magnus flipped through his calendar on his phone. "...Wednesday? During your lunch break?" 

"Sure," Alec said, then quickly added, "Ok, you don't have to answer this, but since you're a relationship expert, I'm assuming you're happily attached." 

"Are you questioning my credentials, Mr Lightwood?" Magnus teased. "Actually, I'm currently single, and I prefer it that way. In this line of business, personal relationships and emotions may make me biased and compromise my ability to advise my clients."

Alec frowned but nodded in understanding. "Sorry, should I pay you for this session?" 

"Oh, don't worry, the initial consultation is free. You can pay me _when_ you land your first date," Magnus replied. 

"You're really confident about this. Do your tips really work on everyone? What if they say they're not interested?" Alec asked. 

"Not interested at all, because they're not into men or romantic relationships in general, or just not interested _right now_?" Magnus asked. "Maybe they'll tell you they need some space, or that they're focussing on their career, but what they're really doing is brushing you off without really thinking about it - because they don't even know you, so why should they give you the time of the day? The thing is, nobody wakes up thinking 'I hope I don't get to meet the person of my dreams today'. Even the most confident of us don't necessarily know what we want until we see it, and sometimes as part of my job I do a little bit of, well, _engineering_ to create the circumstances for them stop and actually _see_ you. But if you never give it a shot, you'll never know if it would have worked out."

"That's what I thought," Alec agreed. 

\--

When Wednesday rolled around, Magnus was both dreading and looking forward to seeing Alec again. On one hand, nobody could complain about having an excuse to look at that gorgeous face, but on the other hand, Magnus would have to sit there listening about the person who had caught Alec's attention.

The place that Alec had suggested was a cross between a blue-plate diner and coffee shop, and Magnus started to get the feeling that he was in trouble when Alec actually pulled out his chair for him like they were in a fancy restaurant. The place was worryingly quiet for lunch hour, but Alec was obviously a regular (and a creature of habit) because the waitress knew him by name and just asked if he was going to want his usual. 

"What do you recommend?" Magnus asked. 

"The breakfast stuff is pretty good, and there're vegan options too - I wasn't sure if you had any dietary preferences."

"I don't, but thank you for thinking of that," Magnus said with a smile. 

They made small talk while waiting for the food to arrive, and Magnus couldn't help feeling that the quiet and cosy atmosphere, with both of them sequestered in a corner table, was a bit too intimate for his own good. 

"So, what's the name of this guy you're interested in?" he asked Alec, turning the conversation to business. 

"Um... Harold," Alec replied, tugging on his earlobe in a sudden nervous gesture and not quite meeting Magnus' eyes, looking down at Magnus' hands instead. 

Magnus tried not to frown. It was ridiculous, but he already disliked the guy just based on his name. Alec and _Harold_ sounded terrible together. 

"What's he like?" 

"He's my sister's friend and he runs his own business. My sister said he's into men as well as women, but honestly, I think he's kinda out of my league," Alec said. 

"I very much doubt that, but what makes you think so?" 

"He's really confident and vibrant, and he dresses well."

"You're a pretty smart dresser yourself," Magnus said with a smile. "Dark colours, simple but classic. You seem like you know what you like, and you don't strike me as being timid or lacking in confidence."

Alec shrugged. "I guess I'm just afraid that he's going to find me boring. My life is mostly work and family, maybe a drink at the pub with friends now and then."

"Switch out family for my cat and that sounds like me," Magnus said, laughing. "First rule, don't go in assuming you know them just because of what they look like."

"Ok, that's good advice," Alec said with a grin. 

"Second rule, make an effort but keep your expectations low. Hopefully it leads to a serious relationship, but for now, you're just getting to know each other. Which leads me to another point I wanted to bring up - don't make your first date with this guy your office Christmas party. Even if he's a colleague, going to an event together makes people assume that you're already a couple, and that's too much pressure for a first date, or even a second date. At least take him out for lunch or coffee first, just the two of you."

"And if he agrees to go out with me, then what? I'm not very good at starting conversations."

"Just be present in the moment and pay attention to what he's saying, and you'll find your opening," Magnus said reassuringly. 

Alec hummed and nodded. "Ok, I can do that."

The waitress came by with their food, briefly interrupting their conversation, and after she left, Alec cleared his throat. 

"By the way, did you say that you had a cat?" Alec asked.

\--

Magnus got back to his office at a little before two in the afternoon, but he was already ready to call it a day. Clary, who was a talented but struggling artist by night and his trusty personal assistant by day, looked up with a bright smile when he came in, but her face fell immediately.

"Are you ok? What happened?"

"Alec Lightwood is going to be the one client who ruins my perfect success rate," Magnus groaned. "Instead of talking about this guy I'm supposed to help him set up a date with, we spent his entire lunch break arguing about the relative merits of cats and dogs as pets."

Clary laughed in relief. "I don't know, that sounds like a great lunch meeting."

Magnus had to admit that it had been a really enjoyable lunch, but that was the problem. "I don't think I should keep him as a client. He paid for my lunch and pulled out my chair for me, Clary. And I have to confess that if I'd been in the market for a relationship - which I'm _not_ \- he'd be exactly my type. I'm probably not the best person to try to help him get this date with another guy."

"You're a professional, you can do it! I believe in you," Clary said cheerfully. "Besides, like you said, you're not interested in a relationship."

"Thank you for that vote of confidence," Magnus said wryly. "You know what, why don't you take the rest of the day off? I'm going to need to do some serious thinking to help get Alec at least one date with his dream guy within the next week, so that he'll have a date for his office Christmas party."

"Thank you!" Clary chirped, grabbing her messenger bag. 

"Ah, I know that look - you're going to meet the mysterious girlfriend," Magnus said, smiling at Clary's infectious glee and excitement. 

"You'll get a chance to meet her very soon," Clary promised, and Magnus couldn't help feeling just a little bit envious of her happiness as he watched her leave. 

\--

Resolving to keep his distance from Alec, Magnus decided to text Alec instead of arranging additional face-to-face meetings to coach Alec on how to plan the perfect first date. Unfortunately, they'd had as much luck sticking to business talk on the phone as they'd had at their lunch meeting, and they were currently sending each other pictures of the strangest creatures people kept as pets while Magnus was supposed to be catching up with his friends over drinks. 

"Who the hell have you been texting all night?" Catarina suddenly asked. 

"What? Nobody. A client," Magnus said quickly, shoving his phone back inside his pocket and taking a sip of his martini, only his first for the night because he'd been too busy texting Alec. 

"And exactly what type of person is your client into? Considering you two were sending each other photos of lizards and octopuses," Ragnor said snidely. 

"Mind your own business," Magnus said with a scowl, then scowled harder when his two friends exchanged a meaningful look. "He's a _client_. You know that means that he came to me with someone he's already interested in, and it's my job to help him get a date with this person."

"But he's sending _you_ pictures of tentacles on a Friday night," Ragnor observed. "I'm not the relationship guru and even I know what that means."

"You know, if you were interested in him too, you could probably wipe out the competition without much effort," Catarina said. "What do you know about this guy he's interested in?" 

Confident, vibrant, smart dresser, self-employed, bisexual, and a friend of Alec's sister. Wait a minute... On a hunch, Magnus glanced at his own hands and suddenly noticed that the watch on his wrist, a birthday gift from Ragnor, had the brand "Harold Pinchbeck" printed on the watch face.

Magnus' phone vibrated in his pocket and he dug it out to read the latest message from Alec, ignoring his friends' annoyingly smug looks.

_Hey, I think I've got an idea for my date with Harold. Are you free on Monday afternoon for me to take you out on a test-run?_

Ordinarily, Magnus would have declined without a second thought because he had a better sense of self-worth than that, except that he was starting to suspect that he knew exactly who "Harold" was. He dithered on his response for a while, then finally typed "Sure" and sent it before his common sense caught up with him.

\--

"Where are we going?" Magnus asked. 

"I told you, it's a surprise," Alec replied with a grin. 

"A surprise location for a first date is a really bad idea, Alexander. It puts you in an uneven power position and is more likely to go wrong, since you don't know your date that well yet," Magnus scolded. 

"But you also said that a first date should be memorable, and that people tend to remember things that they didn't expect," Alec countered. "Anyway, we're here."

"Beekeeping?" Magnus said in amusement as he stepped into the shop with Alec. 

"Introductory class to urban beekeeping, followed by a honey tasting session," Alec clarified. 

Magnus arched an eyebrow at him. "I'm sure this has nothing to do with the conversation we had about exotic pets."

"You did say to try to plan a date that might be in line with common interests," Alec replied, barely hiding his smile. 

Magnus made a face at him, which made Alec laugh, but in the end he had to admit that Alec had planned a date that followed all of Magnus' rules. It was unusual, activity-based to minimise awkward silences, intellectually stimulating, and definitely memorable. 

"How did I do?" Alec asked as they were walking out. 

"Well, I'm sure _Harold_ will enjoy himself as much as I did," Magnus said drily, then added a bit more seriously. "I had a lot of fun today, Alexander. Thank you."

Alec flashed him a lopsided grin and cleared his throat. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but why did you decide to quit dating?" 

"Oh Alexander, that was one of my cardinal rules - don't bring up the exes on your first date," Magnus tutted. 

Alec's lips quirked up a little. "But this isn't a date, so it doesn't count," he said softly. "Does it?"

Magnus heaved a sigh in mock exasperation and shoved his hands in his jacket pockets, a little tempted not to reply, but honesty as the best policy was another of his own rules. "I decided to take a break from dating because I was tired of having my heart broken. My job is to help other people find love, but my own relationships seemed to be my blind spot, and I just seemed to be looking for love in all the wrong places." 

"But someone once told me that if you don't give it a shot, you'll never know if it would've worked out," Alec said, repeating his own words back to him. "I hear he's kind of an expert in this stuff, you should take his advice."

Magnus laughed. "Alright, smartass. Then ask me out properly."

Alec grinned and ducked his head, then squared his shoulders and looked Magnus straight in the eye with a slightly more serious expression. 

"Magnus, will you go out with me on a proper date tomorrow night?"

"Only if you let me take you out to dinner first. Right now, if you're not in a hurry to go somewhere else," Magnus said. 

"Deal," Alec replied with a grin, and offered Magnus his arm.

\--

And that was how Magnus found himself at Alec's office Christmas party that weekend as his date. Unfortunately, as expected the party was boring, served greasy finger food and cheap alcohol, and was full of people Magnus didn't know. But Alec had promised him that they could leave to do their own thing after he'd dropped off his secret Santa present, so Magnus was just walking around people-watching until Alec came back. He certainly hadn't been expecting to spot a very familiar face at the party. 

"Clary?" 

"Magnus! I was looking for you," Clary greeted him enthusiastically, kissing him on the cheek.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. 

"My girlfriend works in the research and development department here," Clary explained. "I think you've met her. Izzy, I found him!"

At the sound of her voice, Clary's girlfriend squeezed her way through the crowd at the drinks table to meet them, and she turned out to be none other than Isabelle Lightwood.

Magnus narrowed his eyes at the two girls, who were looking entirely too pleased with themselves. "Oh no, you didn't."

"What's going on?" Alec asked, appearing behind Magnus. "Wait, do you know Clary?" 

"She's my personal assistant. It appears we've been the victims of a setup, Alexander."

"We were just applying all the tips I picked up from Magnus," Clary said mischievously. "Sometimes two people just need a bit of _engineering_ to create the circumstances for them to see each other."

"After all, who matchmakes the matchmaker?" Izzy stated airily. "Besides, I think Clary and I did a pretty good job."

Magnus exchanged a look with Alec that was both exasperation and fondness for the two girls, and eventually Alec just shrugged and grinned.

"Ok, yes, you did a good job," Magnus conceded.

"I'm done, do you wanna get out of here?" Alec asked. 

Magnus nodded and they said their goodbyes to Clary and Izzy. The streets were full of people hurrying off somewhere, so Alec put an arm lightly around Magnus' waist and Magnus leaned into the touch. 

"You know, you never did give me any dating tips past the first date rules," Alec said.

"Since we're already on our third 'official' date, not counting the beekeeping, I doubt you need me to give you more dating tips," Magnus pointed out. 

"What about tips on when to go in for the first kiss?" Alec asked. 

Magnus smiled to himself. "Whenever it feels right for both of you."

As they stopped at a crosswalk waiting for it to turn green, Alec pulled him a little closer. "How about now?" 

"Perfect," Magnus murmured.

Magnus tilted his chin up to meet Alec's lips and they stood there kissing, heedless of the people milling around them, until the lights turned green, then red, and back to green again. 


End file.
